Men Are Just Happier People
November 2nd, 2009 by World Wide EdThought this one was pretty funny... And for those of you who were thinking of scoldin' me for postin' this, it was forwarded to me by wifey, so there! 
Enjoy gang. Hope y'all have a Happy Fun Day Monday! Even though my Phillies are in deep (DEEP!) trouble, I still wish you a good one! 
Nah, nah! Have a great week yo!
NOTE: D'oh! Was just told that sistah Shauna already posted this one so I've moved it to the bottom (for those who still want a giggle) and am now giving you new, bonus kine action up top! Enjoy!
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED
Men Are Just Happier People What do you expect from such simple creatures?
* Your last name stays put.
* The garage is all yours.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* You can never be pregnant.
* You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
* You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* The world is your urinal...
* You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky..
* You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
* Same work, more pay.
* Wrinkles add character.
* Wedding dress: $5000. Tux rental: $100.
* People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet..
* One mood all the time.
* Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat..
* You know stuff about tanks.
* A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase..
* You can open all your own jars.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
* Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You almost never have strap problems in public.
* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
* Everything on your face stays its original color.
* The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
* You only have to shave your face and neck.
* You can play with toys all your life.
* One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
* You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
* You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
* You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
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NICKNAMES
- If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
- If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
- When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
- A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
- The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
- A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
- Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
- A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
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For a little fun, how about adding your own reason(s) (in the comment area below) why you think Men Are Just Happier People... 
Here's mine:
IMAGE
- A woman looks at other women and instantly compares herself to them.
- Men never look at other men. Oh yeah! You like dat one yeah!?
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And please check out my new article for AroundHawaii.com: Koko Head Crater Trail Hike - Nature's Stairmaster.
Koko Head Crater Trail Hike - Nature's Stairmaster
Shoots!
P.S. Parts of my Shane Victorino interview will be airing on Tiny TV starting tonight at 10:30PM on OC16 (Oceanic Digital Channel 16 or HD Channel 1016). Check it out! 
Tags: arguments, Fat Boy, Four-eyes, Fun Day Monday, Godzilla, husband, Jokes, Men Are Just Happier People, money, pocket calculators, shopping, wife
November 2nd, 2009 at 1:11 am
Whoa!! Having de ja vu from about 10days ago.
November 2nd, 2009 at 2:27 am
aye! sad to say it's all true... but men DO look at other men!!! hahhaa.... i know you do, ed-ster! hahah
November 2nd, 2009 at 6:02 am
Wat you mean? I ALWAYS get the last words....... yes dear
November 2nd, 2009 at 6:10 am
Yep, men DO look at other men........aftah dey check out da wahine first. Den go: "WTF! Wat he get dat I no mo?"
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:18 am
Good Morning Ed!
We are not as emotional as woman.
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:54 am
Men are ready to go out in 5 minutes. Women are ready after ... an hour ... maybe?
November 2nd, 2009 at 8:03 am
Guys will get into a fight, confront the person and let it go.
Girls will get into a fight, do some passive aggressive stuff, act like nothing is wrong and never let it go.
November 2nd, 2009 at 8:08 am
Aloha Ed,
Since you've been married, I guess you have become very observant of men and women actions.
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:42 am
I think was supposed to be a man...
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:03 am
... hey Ed!!! ... funny!!! ... MEN will agree with everything on that list and laugh at it ... WOMEN will probably roll their eyes
not say a thing, but secretly agree that everything is 100% accurate ...
MEMORY
1. Men won't remember where they went out to dinner last night.
2. Women remember where they went out last night, last week ... last year! And they remember that little thing you did wrong 2 years, 5 months and 11 days ago ... and never let you forget it!
... HAVE A GOOD ONE EVERYONE!!! ...
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:37 am
Ed: Thanks for the action on top! Thoroughly enjoyed it.
I do struggle with opening jars sometimes. As I'm grunting in frustration, I wonder how in the heck old ladies do it (I'm talking about a jar of peaches!) or wish I had a man in the house!
skycastles and rayboyjr: Fist bump on girls never letting things go or never letting a guy forget it. In our defense, it's probably cause the guy did something so horrendous that it's hard to erase from memory!
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:00 am
... AWWWW
... c'mon Ed ... you deferring to the women again??? ... BEE a man ... put your foot down ... and rightfully claim that you had this topic on hold ... for over a month ... but was too busy to post it until now ... yeah, that's it!!! ...
...
take charge and take control ... proclaim your manhood!!! ... declare to all those in ... uh ... wait a second ... I just checked back on Shauna's blog ... and yup she had it there first ... 
... shame! shame! shame on you! ... nevah learn yet ... always check with da woman first BEEfore you do anything!!! ... bumbye get into all kinds of trouble!!! ...
November 2nd, 2009 at 12:26 pm
haha... this is a funny one. i agree that most of these are true...
November 2nd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
LOL! Tanks for letting me know Pu. I added bonus stuffs to makeum shmall kine different.
Pshhh... Nevarrrrr!
Ahahahaha! Das how it is eh naks? I gotta take notes!
Bwahahaha! So true. Or "How he wen pull dat one off?"
Oooooh! Not going there eMs, but between you and me, word!
Sooo true Hobbz!
I'd like to add that the guys will grab a beer together after too.
Nah Kel Sr., just get a lot of forwarded emails. Hehe!
Ha-cum leerz, you wear white T-shirts to the water park?
OMG, this is soooo true beej. I have the worst memory ever. Wifey's memory is like an elephants!
Hehe, thanks. And sorry for dupe-ing your topic this time. Hehe. I did a quick search first, but I guess I missed it.
LOL! I should have. But then again, Shauns might have the authority to look in da backend and call my bluff. Then I would really BEEEE in trouble.
Remember McCat. No blame me, blame wifey. Hehe!
November 2nd, 2009 at 2:09 pm
some pretty funny stuff, and mos'ly true aftah all..
'cept, have had ess-perience with girls staring at da kine chest as i jog by in the old dayz.. i agree with women, it's a bad feeling.. real impersonal..
hey. sweethaht, i'm up heah!
oh, an' not erry-t'ing stays original color on face dese dayz.. if i nevah when color da moustache, peopo t'ink i'm JJ's gram-pa.. too much fo' him to take or me..
plus too hahd fo' flirt wit' moms twenny yeahs youngah wen sporteen' greys stickin' out errywhere.. no can handle, randle.. no can..
November 2nd, 2009 at 5:52 pm
@Shauna - I didn't only mean when girls get mad at guys. We do it with their own girlfriends too.
November 2nd, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Oops, I meant with "our" own girlfriends too
November 2nd, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Women do what Oprah tell them to do; men no bother, gotta watch the World Series das why! Phillies in 7 baby!!!
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:50 pm
You're in trouble!!!!!!!!!!
No comment
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:57 am
Ahaha! ooj was one buff daddy back in da day ah?
P.S. Just two more games!
How come you girls get mad at everyone sky?
Nah, nah!
Awwwwww YEAH! Wouldn't taking the last two in NY be bomb Maks!?
Who dat Dubbs? Me or da Phillies?
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:02 pm
@Ed - Cuz we're sensitive creatures
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Who will be the first to hit a hole in one, you or your sister?
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Probably the sister Big Mike, cause I only play like once a year now. Haha!
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:11 pm
edward..
as buddy, UH pitcher from 70's, an' Yank-hater Jim Strachan points out..
going down 3-1 first sets up Pillies to inflic' maximal pain an da kine..
anywayz, jus' want to see a G7 whatevah way it goes..
Go P-Dro, mesmerize Yankers..
Go Pills Bats, wake up an' smell da coffee, baby... it's whoopin' time..
really jus' want to see Shane vs. Big Boy II...
Geev Um Da Gasssss Pillies !!!!!!!!
hoo, edwahd, dis cuud get guud, bah..